Confused
by sailingdayz
Summary: Basically an autistic Luffy drabble. this is kinda a sad AU i'll probably continue later.
1. Chapter 1

He never noticed the looks he got. He never could interpret the sneers and gestures as something negative. He just didnt get it. He couldn't understand. he couldn't...

Why was everything always so loud and overwhelming. Why were people's voices so booming and scary. why?...

The backpack was thrown on the floor in disgust and fear. Why had it felt like that? so... wrong, so...uncomfortable. so...

The hat grounded him. the lifeless object was his soul. It kept him calm and happy. He loved a hat more then his grandfather, but there's nothing wrong with that,... right?

Why was everything so confusing. Why does it feel like i'm going to explode all the time, why? Why cant i get it? Why am I so empty? Why?

For the first time, Luffy cried.

 _okay so this is just a short drabble about an autistic!Luffy AU_


	2. Chapter 2

"I am a bad child." Luffy said outloud to his empty room. He was almost 18 now and nothing has changed.

Words flow through his ears and come out as jumbled murmers. He can't get close to anyone, afraid that they will break him even more. His hat is his only friend.

So different. Luffy thinks. So... unable and stupid. Luffy falls to his knees. The tears start to flow. Overwhelmed with this uknown, strange feeling.

"Why am I so confused?" he shouts to no one. Luffy raises his fist and brings it down on his head, hard.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid..."

He continues to whisper as his hits become faster and harder. "Stupid."

He slams his hand down one last time.

Luffy is broken and alone.

Again.


	3. Chapter 3

Luffy hugs himself tightly. squeezing and squeezing.

desperately trying to imitate the feel of someone comforting him.

He whimpers softly.

Luffy is in class now. Gramps thought it would be a good idea to have Luffy around other people.

Maybe.

Maybe it would have helped if the other classmates actually liked him.

He squeezes tighter.

Suddenly the bell rings making Luffy spasm and whip his head up.

The class full of people empties quickly. except...

"Hey"

Luffy looks up to see one of his classmates looking down at him.

Luffy who has already forgotten about the loud scary bell is now transfixed on the students very green hair.

"Hey... um are you alright?"

Luffy tilts his head. Trying to process the teens words.

"I mean your shaking."

Oh.

Of course. Luffy's whole body is shaking. His arms still wrapped around his chest.

The older classmate bends down to Luffy's level.

"Hey you know, its okay. My name's Zoro."

Luffy looks at the hand being held out to him

Slowly Luffy unwraps his arms and holds his arms out towards Zoro.

Zoro blinks. Then lets his arm down in favor of carefully wrapping his arms around Luffy.

Luffy smiles.

 _A hug._


	4. Chapter 4

Luffy waved his arms around excitedly. hugs hugs hugs hugs were really quite amazing.

sitting in his living room now home from school, Luffy was once again trying to recreate his first hug.

Luffy giggled and squeezed harder.

Why? Oh why did it take so long for him to figure out what a hug truly was!

Why had he never had a real hug before?

The thought made Luffy loose his smile.

...

Why does Ace not hug me?

...

Now Ace was a working college student. stressed and tired all the time.

Ace constantly had to juggle working at La Bela's, studying for college,

and taking care of his poor little brother, Luffy.

It was no wonder Ace had no time to hug and comfort Luffy. Ace was worn out.

Without meaning to Ace began to slowly neglect his younger brother.

Of course if Luffy was able to voice his discomfort and sadness,

Ace would be more then happy to simply hug Luffy.

However Ace was oblivious to Luffy's loneliness.

...

Luffy couldn't understand why he hasn't had any hugs before.

was he not good enough?

was he truly a bad kid?

did he not deserve love?

...

That must be it. Luffy couldn't think of any other logical reason

other then the fact that he didn't deserve hugs because he's a bad kid.

Slowly Luffy unwrapped his arms from around his body and covered them over his ears.

it was too much

It hurt too much!

...!

But Zoro. Luffy's classmate just today gave him the best hug of his life!

Zoro had hugged him...

He almost forgot.

With that one thought Luffy's breathe began to calm.

He was alright.

For now


End file.
